guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
