What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize