This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
