somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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