u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
