just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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