matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i permit you to call me
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
