She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
