i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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