well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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