the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
