I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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