Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have aggressive nipples.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
