Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
