The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
