Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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