What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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