so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
