i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
