She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
