I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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