Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
