it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
