The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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