The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize