I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
this will be a night to untag.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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