My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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