What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
