I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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