how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was like eating out sand paper
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
