u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
