Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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