May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
