The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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