yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
