How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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