Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
