Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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