Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
