what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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