i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
