lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
