please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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