How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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