Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize