This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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