Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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