he wants to bone in the snuggie
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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