just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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