All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Randomize
