i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
