You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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