I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
True college students do jello shots in the library
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
