I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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