Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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