oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
