Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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