The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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