ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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