I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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