I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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