Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
