I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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