apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
